i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize
