just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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