More tranny stories later!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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