Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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