your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
