is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
