guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
