No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
