Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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