ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
third nipple confirmed
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
