Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
