Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Randomize
