Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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