I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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