his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
