Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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