I just made out with a guy for $7.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
