There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
