who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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