wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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