I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
