In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
