pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
