Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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