..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
