Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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