He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
