no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
