I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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