The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Shitshow foam night was such a success
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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