Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
