is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
