Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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