How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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