So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
