a queef is a wish your heart makes.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just forgot I was standing up.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
