just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
