btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
