I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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