do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
