woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
