I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Damn victory sex feels great
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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