i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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