I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
