What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
