I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
