He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
