I wanna bring you to show and tell
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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