chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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