Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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