if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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