Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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